Monday, June 14, 2010

Coping with motherhood

Setiap bulan dapat free magazine mychild malaysia from skool E-Cha. Memang the best source guide to parenting. Ada satu artikel ni, saya sangat-sangat setuju 200%. Saya C&P je la kat sini, point-point yang saya rasa ada kebenarannya..

Let's be realistic, there are not many wonder mums in this world. Every parent has disappointments and discouragements, and I am no exception. I am experiencing my fair share of ups and downs. There are days when everything is well, and we are all living in a cheerful home. Then there are days when I fail to cope with everything which is required of me in my multiple roles of mummy, wife, daughter and programmer.
So, is parenting an easy task? Well, let's just say that it is hard in the way that walking up flight of stairs is, rather than running up a steep mountain is. You don't need years of technical training or degree in child rearing. Of course parenting is extremely daunting job. But, it's not unduly complicated. As soon as I realised that I could still become my own person again, I feel much happier and calmer.

Have a break
I used to ask myself 'where is the woman I used to be?' I had a sleepless nights because of my daughter, I canceled my lunch date because of my daughter and I stopped paying attention to the way I look because of my daughter. Until one day, it just hit me that my life is never going to be my own if I continue to wake up and think about others before me. The truth is, it's almost impossible to put yourself first every single day once you become a mother. All the priorities in my life have changed. Being able to just keep some of my 'normal' routines has indeed made me more alive.
My point here is no matter how much you love your kids, when you are stressed, it is difficult to be the best mother you can be. Go on; free yourself of all maternal responsibilities whenever you can, meet up with friends for a quick gossip and giggle, pamper yourself to a spa, read a book and set dinner or movie date with your partner. Not only you get to free your mind for a while, but you also will end up being a much more loving and responsible mummy again.

Be happy to fail
As a mother I experience a heap of emotions and not all of them are positive. Operating a full schedule I often feel irritated, agitated and quick tempered. If you have a friend telling you how well she's coping with her adorable kids, don't believe her! Lots of mummies are good at 'faking it'. It's not really lying but more like trying to distort the truth. Chances are she's not trying to make you feel bad, but to make herself feel better.
There are times you will fall into a downward spiral of doom and despair, and you will start to wonder why other mums are coping better than you do. The fact is, they are not coping better than you, they just seem to be. After all, being a mum doesn't make you a superwoman. We are only human. I go on a roller-coaster ride every week and never stop questioning my maternal abilities. When I lose my temper I would feel like a monster. But I bounce back and start moving on again. Just remember if you are trying to be perfect, you are most likely not being the best mother you can be.

In good spirit
Looking after your health is very important. It's what allows us to take care of our kids. Yet, with all the focus on looking after a child or baby, you would be surprised that a lots of parents forget or run out of time to look after themselves. For me, the worst mistakes I make as a parent is losing my temper and being unreasonable - because I'm just plain exhausted. Bringing up my demanding daughter requires stamina. When she was tiny, I needed physical strength to keep her fed and clean, and as she grows older, I meed to maintain a positive state of mind as her emotional demands are greater now. Since my own health and well-being are important to my daughter, I owe it to her to sleep, unwind, eat, meditate and exercise regularly. I strongly believe that shifting away from negative emotional patterns can directly benefit my health.

Brighter days ahead
There are many challenges that come with being a mother. As a mother, our ultimate goal is to raise emotionally healthy and self-confident children, and we will never able to do so if we neglect ourselves. Once we stop being so hard on ourselves and start acknowledging our needs and putting our wellness at the top of our list, we are ready to get on with loving our children and coping with them. Remember this: Don't be too critical of your failure, and really savour each moment of your child's life because it will go by so quickly, and before you know it you will be seeing them off to school!

betol tak?? Adakah korang rasa apa yang aku rasa? Kekekekeke....

1 comment: